"One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is "Libertarian." People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy."
--George Carlin, Napalm and Silly Putty
Libertarianism (better known as American Conservatism v2.0) is a fad political ideology for 13-year-old boys, college students, stoners, and white business owners who use the "private property" argument so they don't have to serve blacks. Libertarians (conservatives/Republicans), more commonly known as Libertards or Lolbertarians, believe that governmental "intrusion" into people's lives should be limited as much as possible--except when someone breaks into their house, they need a contract enforced, or want a health inspector to check out the local restaurants. Government is just fine in those cases. They also believe roads and civic infrastructure are naturally occurring phenomena.
Libertarianism has a big crossover with Extropians, who think that you can realize science fiction ideas like space elevators and self-genetic engineering in the near future. Most Libertarians are either 13-year-old boys, fratboys who watch South Park, people that want to appear "alternative", or paranoid survivalists living in tiny cabins in Montana where they stockpile weapons and food for the dreaded day when Big Brother comes 'round tryin' to implant fail chips in their brains. Libertarians claim to be radical philosophers but are really as bourgeoisie as they can get. Ultimately, all libertarians are really interested in is defending their petty, white, middle class interests.
Libertarians believe that humanity falls into two categories:
1. Libertarians
2. Sheep
Libertarianism should not be confused with Conservatism, which is exactly what conservatives do. In the same way Liberals now call themselves "Progressives", Conservatives think "Libertarian" sounds more hip.
The creation of a Libertarian:
Most Libertarians begin life as a spoiled upper-middle class and very white teen who fails to comprehend that not everyone else in the world is a spoiled upper-middle class white teen.
At first, the young libertarian-to-be has only a vague dissatisfaction. He begins to ask himself questions like:
"What political philosophy can I both bastardize and miss the point of, so that I can justify being an even more selfish prick than I am now?"
"How can I reconcile that I hate those who I deem aren't productive, with the fact that I don't need a job because daddy gives me a generous allowance?"
"Why do we even need government? Surely almost seven billion people can all police themselves, right?"
The answer comes to them in two little words. Ayn Rand. Never since Barbra Streisand have words spread so far, and contaminated so many. With sixth-grade level vocabulary, and fourth-grade level philosophy, Rand's books have all the emotional depth of a two-year old's temper tantrum. "MINE!!!" Their holy prophet. She speaks the words so perfectly, the words they want to hear.
"You don't lack compassion! You just want people to get by on their own merits!", She says. "You're not a selfish asshole! You just have a sense of rational self-interest!", She affirms. "You have no obligation to the society in which you live! Governments are only there to lift up those not as good as you!", She declares.
And lo, it was good. Because if there is one thing that makes financially comfortable white people feel good about themselves, it is that they earned the benefits of being financially comfortable, clearly by their own merits.
It wasn't daddy's money that bought you your head start in life. It wasn't the better schools, the better nutrition, the better neighborhoods. It wasn't the country you were born in, or the system of laws that protected and to this day protects you. It wasn't the various government agencies making sure you have licensed doctors, clean drinking water, or safety standards for vehicles.
No, my young privileged white boy, you did it all. You, and only you, are responsible for all your success. And anyone who isn't as well off just didn't work as hard. And the government can only take from a productive member of society like you to give to the leeches. And there should be no laws. And even though there are laws, they don't really apply to you, because you're special. Be as selfish as you want. It's all you.
And thus, a libertarian is born.
10 Reason Why Libertarianism is Bullshit
1. It's impossible.
2. It's naive.
3. It's cold-hearted.
4. It ignores history.
5. It's not natural.
6. It ignores human failings.
7. It ignores human compassion.
8. It ignores Somalia.
9. It's selfish.
10. It's provincial.
There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.
—John Rogers
Ayn Rand was a philandering, Russian atheist, the author of vast doorstop-sized tomes like Atlas Shrugged and the ripped-off biography The Fountainhead, and other thick, boring books espousing, essentially, psychotic libertarian themes and ideology.
Rand claimed to be a philosopher, though preferring the title "Objectivist." In fact, her simplistic versions of philosophy were misunderstandings of Aristotelian metaphysical notions formulated thousands of years ago. Whether that makes a philosophy or an excuse for being greedy and selfish is, ironically, subjective.
The Objectivist movement is a movement based on Ayn Rand'spersonality cultphilosophy of objectivism.
All the above copied/pasted from around the web. If I could be bothered to write anything myself I would just write that a Libertarian is someone who just doesn't fit in (is a total misfit with the brain of a rejected teenager) and came up with the bright idea to proclaim, in a "political philosophy" no less, that it is not his fault but the system's. Therefore there must be no system. Social structure and civic infrastructure will occur spontaneously every spring when the flowers are in bloom.The only thing Libertarianism is good for is for giving a nice, poor Jewish girl, self exiled from the Soviet Union of the 1920's, the tools to fantasize that she thumbed her nose at her compatriots and showed 'em, while her privileged middle class white dropouts were grovelling at her feet begging to be burned by her cigarette! That's before she went through the last years of her life collecting Roosevelt's Social Security. Gimme a break man. Grow up.
